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LazyPirate
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Name: Gold Grass
Country: United States
State: Maryland
Metro: PG County
Gender: Male
Interests: I like lots of stuff except people. I like some people though, you know who you are so dont ask me "am i one of those people". oh ok music clouds pumpkins shows fire spoons simpsons and some other random stuff well now you know me
Expertise: Oh well wouldnt you like to find out. I annoy people very well. I dont confuse people as much as I confuse people when I do and dont confuse people oh wow look over your shoulder youre being watched wait no youre not or is that just your mom..... Dang
Occupation: Retired
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/14/2004
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| Damn its been a while since the last time. It seems to be the way it is though. Does anybody still use xanga or did myspace take it off the map? Anyway things have been going pretty well I suppose. Ive been happy which is good, due to someone. School is not as bad as I keep saying it is, just overwhelming at times. I kinda started a job already which I don't want to do, but I want a job and I have one so Im not going to complain about it until I actually really start doing it everyday or everyother day. I don't know how its going to workout yet. I know that is is going to make some complications in my social life, so those of you who actually talk and hangout with me I just ask of you to stick around and be paitient. You know who you are! Life seems to be actually very positive for me right now, a little overwhelming at times, but positive and thats usually good. Im kinda in a relationship, which I said above Ive been happy due to someone. I hope that it works out as well I know its still just the beggining and thats its not yet official, but right now Im happy and thats good. Things are looking up and positive vibes has taken over the rainy day. | | |
| So its been a little while since Ive last updated. I know most of you
are dying to know whats going on in my life. Not that anybody really
uses Xanga anymore. Poor Xanga.
Anyway nothing has happend in a while. I don't work anymore, yet alone
I have not been paid in forever and I am owed almost $3,000.00. Which
that money could be really useful to me right now because Im broke as
fuck. I was supposed to go to college, but that didn't really work out
which really sucks because now I am stuck doing nothing and can not
seem to get myself out of this rut of just sitting around my house. I
don't like doing it either. I feel bad for doing it. I have not been
able to find a job which is really not good either because I feel like
I am just sitting around my house doing absolutely nothing and I can
not even contribute some money to help my family out. They have well my
dad has been really cool about it though which is kind of weird, but I
am not complaining.
Well now though I can not seem to get a job or to get into school
and it seems like time is running circles around me and its later than
I can imagine all the time. Its like I have just missed out on two
months of my life because time just skipped in front of me and left me
behind to fend for myself and to be lost because I don't know where I
should be at in my life. Well anyway thats about it for a little while
I geuss I will keep all who still reads posted on what is going on.
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| Rest In Peace
Duckie
1/6/1995-12/31/2006
Always Remembered.
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| Well Im pretty much sick of living at home. If I had the money I would move out in a second. Its too stressful living here and I know that can't be healthy. Im also sick of the job I kind of have. Im going to start looking for another one really soon. I did not mind it at first, but now Im just tired of the unpredictability. Everyday I have to call to see where I am going and what I am supposed to do. I have'nt been paid for about 2 months of work and well I can't afford to keep doing that. Well thats pretty much it. Past few days have been fun though just hanging out with my friends. Well talk to you all lalter. | | |
| So right now I don't feel as if I could care about pretty much anything. I may say something that may piss some people off. Not many people read this anymore and those of you who do most likely wont know what I am talking about. If I piss you off or offend you, Im sorry, but too bad. Heres my thoughts and all honesty that I can get out. Sorry I can't tell you to your face. I geuss I am just too much of a coward.
For the longest time I did not think I could live without my friends. That was an all honest feeling. For the longest time I lived by True Believers. I wanted to get it tatooed across my back. Right now I don't know what to think about alot of my friends. I still love them all. I don't want anymore to change between us that already has. Mostly Anthony and Me. You and me don't hang out not nearly as close as we used to. To be honest I think its because of Teresa. I am not blaming this on her or you. I know that life just works out in weird ways someitmes. I know she has helped you alot and all I want is for you to be happy. I am almost positive that she doesnt like me and thats why she gets pissed when you hang out with us or me. Im not sure though. Thats just how I feel. I know Ive been working lately and thats also stopped up from hanging out alot. Theres been times that Ive almost just wanted to quit right on the spot just so I can go and hang out with you like we used too. I was talking to you earlier tonight and the way it sounded, even though it was online theres no tone of voice, but what I got out of that is that you don't want your friendship with us anymore and that you just want to be with Teresa. I may be totally wrong, I may be dead on. Thats just what I got out of that. I may be just really paranoid and I hopes thats what it is, not that I like being paranoid. I would just rather be wrong right now. Anthony, I love you like family, not that I like family, but you have been my best friend since first grade and we've had some really good times. Mainly because you support too much dumb shit, but no complaints. Just when we were talking earlier it just seemed like you did not want your friends anymore and that hurt. Again I hope Im wrong.
Teresa we started off really good and then everything just fell apart. It happens I know. I do not know what you think of me anymore and honestly I do not care. I hope that you don't have anything against me, but if so thats on you. The only thing that really bothers me about you is that in the begginning of yours and Anthonys relationship you told me that you didn't want it to affect mine and Anthonys friendship. I respected that greatly, but I feel that as time went on that you more encouraged Anthony to stay away from me. Like that night when I drove to the Twiztid show and you texted me saying "Im not alright". I didn't get that until much later that night, but you told me that you were just hoping I would get it so Anthony would just come home. You did apologize for that, but that really hurt me and still bothers me. And now you get upset or pissed off when he hangs out with us when youre at work. If youre at work why does it matter. Do you want him to be at home bored crazy? Or do you just want him to be as miserable as you might be at work? Anyway I do not think that its fair to me Stumpy QBall James or Andrew that you get upset when he hangs out with us, because that just discourages him to want to do so. By doing that, that effects our friendship, something you said you didn't want to happen. Thats the thing that bothers me with you, besides that, if that be the case I do not know I may be wrong, you are fine in my book and again I don't know what you think of me anymore, but I hope we can still be friends. You're a cool person and pretty damn entertaining and you're really intelligent with alot of things and I think thats pretty cool. I hope you don't get pissed at me for this I just had to get all this off my chest.
Andrew, you've been nothing but good 99% of the time. Ive been nothing but good to you 98% of the time. Im just ballparking those stats so don't get offended. I think I lowered my self too low, oh well. We used to hang out alot too. I do miss those days. We would walk around without one care. You never had money and still don't, but you know paying for you gets annoying. Ive told you this, but shit thats what friends do for one another. We help each other. I know our friendship has gone down and I don't like that. I am not sure on what happend, but it did. I know youre the center of getting ragged on by all of us and Im sorry. I know I put my parts in there, but it was never to hurt you. Its just what goes on in our not so much of a circle of friends anymore. You told me before and you told me earlier tonight that you do not care if you get your ass kicked. Well more dumb power to you. Anyway you shouldnt have gone off on Stumpy the way you did. Stumpy you really over reacted though. As much as we fuck with Andrew he has the right to get pissed off at us once in a while. He should not get physical because thats just dumb, but you did not need to go off on him like that. I know when you're pissed that you are stubborn as hell and I know Andrew is pretty stubborn too. You both over reacted, but I do think that you really did so more, because you need to learn to take some of your own shit that you dish out. Stumpy if you get pissed at me for any of this Im sorry. I am going to take Andrews side on this one, but in general if you two arnt going to get along Im just going to split my friendship up because I am not taking sides. Over all you are all too important to me.
Stumpy you have been nothing but good to me for as long as Ive known you. I honestly dont think I deserve you as a friend sometimes because I don't think that I have been as good of a friend to you as you have to me.I do not know what you think of me or if you think Im a good friend to you or what. I honestly think that I havent given you all the best that I could have. I do feel the same way with all my friends, but mainly you and Qball. I want to keep you as a freind we have had some good times and theres many years to come for alot more good times and Im looking forward to that. Esspecially Ocean City. Anyway Stumpy youve been an awesome friend and I think you for that. I hope I stay friends with all of you and I hope that eventually we can all hangout together, because when I am with all my friends its so hard for me to care and thats one of the best feelings ever. I don't know if you feel the same way, but thats how I feel I hope that you and Andrew can work something out though.
QBall well you wernt there tonight and I didn't really talk to you about any of this, and I dont really know what to say to you to be honest. You have also been nothing but good to me and as I said above I dont feel like I have given that back to you. Anyway I hope that we stay friends for a long time to come too. Sorry yours is shorter than the rest, but I mostly wrote longer ones for the other ones cus they all made me a little upset tonight and well I just needed to tell them how I feel.
Stumpy and Andrew I feel that both of you over reacted and I know that Andrew has the right to get pissed just dont get physical. Stumpy I feel you over reacted a little more, because you do fuck with Andrew alot and I know we all do, but you should expect him to get pissed at us and you should be able to handle it a little better. Thats all I am saying about that. I am going to stay out of it from now on thats just my opinion. I do hope that you two can work things out, if not well thats too bad on yalls part because yall each lost a friend. Just remember I will be there for the both of you, but Im not taking sides. Anthony you upset me with the whole you want to just stay out of things part and that just sounded like you did not want our friendship anymore. I might be taking that out of perspective, but thats what I got out of it. Again I hope I am wrong. Teresa I explained why I am upset with you, I may be wrong, but I honestly feel that way.
So to all of you I love you all, you have all been pretty damn awesome to me and I appriciate it all. I hope that what I have wrote to you will give you atleast a little bit of knowledge I dont know. If not I hope that you don't hold it against me. I just had to get this out of my head. This is how I feel and I can not change that. So Again Im sorry I couldnt tell you all face to face, I dont have the balls apparently. I just hope that in the end all works out and we can just all have fun like the old times. | | |
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